I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she looked like the before picture.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
