mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
