I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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