In the future we'll all be gay
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was like eating out sand paper
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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