Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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