Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
