one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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