FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
