so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
