What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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