come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i need some magic done to my vagina
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
