I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize