Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
