All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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