there's paper in my vomit.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
