Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just want to make out with him forever
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
