He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
