Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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