Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
