so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He passed out mid-signature
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
