I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize