Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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