girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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