We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
