i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
