Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
