He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
