I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
that is very illegal...i love you.
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