Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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