I'm gonna have a badass scar
You're earring is so big in my mouth
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
