Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
