Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize