I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
