Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
