Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
