is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
