I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
