why didn't you poke me back
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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