Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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