i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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