Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
