I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
