ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
