I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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