just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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