What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
