I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
