It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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