Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You made out with two different species that night
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
