p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize