Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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