he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
