i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
