She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
