Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
