ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my being single is dangerous.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
