i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
