Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
