So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
