i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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