Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize